Bravado – “And then he just rolled off the couch and didn’t shed a tear – such bravado!”
Camaraderie – “I feel such camaraderie when we all walk our prams in a row like this.”
Effeminate – “My 8 month old is not very effeminate, maybe she’ll be a tom-boy.”
Exorbitantly – “Yes goats milk is exorbitantly more expensive, but at least he’s no longer terrified to give birth to a massive log every fourth day.”
Dishevelled – “Of course I look dishevelled Frank, your daughter was up for 7 feeds last night!”
Euphemism – “The doctor said he was a portly boy, which Google says is a euphemism for chunky.”
Fiasco – “She didn’t want milk when we left home, then started screaming for it mid-grocery shop. Then my boobs leaked everywhere. Talk about a fiasco!”
Gregarious – “He is so gregarious, if we’re not including him in our conversation he fake coughs ‘til we do.”
Idyllic – “I had an idyllic view of childbirth before I went through it. It involved a lot more breathing exercises and a lot less bodily fluids.”
Insidious – “Since she’s started solids her gas is insidious – it clears a room!”
Mantra – “I have a new mantra to get me through the day: It’s only X hours until wine o’clock.”
Minimalistic – “I used to be quite minimalistic, now we’re thinking of upsizing our house to accomodate all our baby’s belongings.”
Ogle – “‘I’m up here’ I told him as he ogled my suddenly exposed breast.”
Precocious – “My son is so precocious. He was only 6 weeks old when he found his willy, now he wont leave it alone!”
Unsolicited – “Thanks so much for the unsolicited advice, but I can’t really sleep when the baby only naps for 30 minutes and the house is a shit show.”
Vicariously – “I watch my child at every Ju Jitsu, ballet and horse riding lesson because I like to live vicariously through them.”