Sublime

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Original poem inspired by the onset of my first hypomanic episode.

I hadn’t slept for 3 days (at all) and my now husband had just proposed in the most beautiful place. This wasn’t just normal excitement. Everything looked different, smelt different, felt different. Even breathing felt unbelievably good. It was surreal. But the weeks that followed were damaging.

This was 6 and a half years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. Thanks to the knowledge  have now, medication and being aware of my triggers I have never had an episode like this again 🦋

Seasons

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Like seasons my moods fluctuate,
sometimes sunny and euphoric then desolate and cold.

When I’m good, everything flows.
Other times I am frozen, submerged in ice cold water.

I desperately kick up for air but my thoughts hold me under,
and I don’t know how much longer I can fight for.

Then after the never-ending Winter,
spring comes around, as it always does.

The water slowly gets warmer
and the flowers start to bloom.

I find my flow again, basking in the light and the colours,
all the while knowing seasons can’t last forever.